Updated: 5/19/25
Giving a wedding toast is one of the most meaningful honors someone can receive at a wedding, and can also be one of the most nerve-racking. Whether you’re the maid of honor, best man, a proud parent, or a close friend of the couple, standing up in front of a crowd to speak on love, commitment, and the future can feel like an intimidating task. But here’s the good news: crafting the perfect wedding toast isn’t about being the funniest or the most eloquent speaker in the room. It’s about authenticity, intention, and heart.
Here’s everything you need to know about delivering a memorable, moving, crowd-pleasing wedding toast.
Who Gives a Wedding Toast?
Traditionally, the wedding toasts are given by the father of the bride, the best man, the maid of honor, and occasionally the newlyweds themselves. Parents of the groom or the bride’s mother may also choose to speak. While plenty of family and friends might feel compelled to offer their congratulations, limiting formal toasts to no more than four or five individuals is wise. The reception is not an open mic—it’s a celebration.
If there are additional loved ones who would like to speak, the rehearsal dinner or a pre-wedding event is the perfect time to open the floor
The Order of Toasts
To keep things organized and respectful, here’s the typical order:
- Parents of the Bride (as hosts of the evening) kick off the toasts.
- Parents of the Groom may follow.
- Maid of Honor and Best Man go next.
- Finally, the newlyweds can close the series with their own words of thanks.
Sticking to this order helps maintain a natural flow and ensures everyone gets their moment without the event dragging on.
Timing Is Everything
Let’s talk timing. A wedding toast should last no more than three to five minutes. This sweet spot is long enough to share a meaningful story, express admiration for the couple, and offer your well wishes, without losing your audience’s attention or slowing down the reception.
Remember: This isn’t a TED Talk or a stand-up set. A well-structured, sincere toast will always leave a stronger impression than one that meanders or tries to do too much.
What to Include in Your Wedding Toast
Here’s a tried-and-true formula to guide your speech:
- Congratulate the Couple – Start with heartfelt congratulations.
- Engaging Opening – Pose a question or make a lighthearted statement to grab attention.
- Introduce Yourself – Mention your name and relationship to the couple.
- Tell a Meaningful Story – Choose a brief anecdote that illustrates your connection and shows the couple’s love.
- Address Both Partners – Regardless of who you know better, make the toast about both people.
- Share Your Well-Wishes – Speak with warmth, optimism, and love to their future.
- Raise a Glass – Invite the guests to toast with you and end on a celebratory note.
What Not to Say
Even the most well-meaning toast can go off the rails if you’re not careful. Here are the top things to avoid:
- Exes or past relationships – Just no.
- Inside jokes that exclude the audience – Keep it inclusive.
- Inappropriate or embarrassing stories – Think grandma-friendly.
- Heavy drinking before your speech – Save the Champagne for after you toast.
Above all, remember that your toast should celebrate the couple, not draw attention to yourself or steal the spotlight.
Expert Tips for Nailing Your Toast
- Start Writing Early – Brainstorm stories and themes well in advance.
- Rehearse, Rehearse, Rehearse – Practice out loud, and time yourself.
- Record Yourself – This helps catch awkward pacing or distracting habits.
- Use Note Cards – Don’t rely on your phone—it may lock or die mid-speech.
- Be Yourself – Speak from the heart. You don’t need to be a comedian or a poet.
- Avoid Last-Minute Edits – Stick to your practiced version to avoid stumbling.
- Channel Your Nerves – A bit of nervous energy can make you more engaging and genuine.
Need Inspiration? Start Here
Ask yourself a few key questions to get your creative juices flowing:
- How did I meet the bride or groom?
- What moment made me realize they’d found “the one”?
- What qualities do I admire in them as a couple?
- How have they grown since being together?
- What is something they’ve taught me about love or friendship?
Let the answers to these questions shape your theme and tone. Keep it personal and real, and always bring it back to them.
In Conclusion…
Giving a wedding toast is more than just a formality, it’s a gift to the couple and their community. Whether you’re bringing the laughter, tugging at heartstrings, or offering a few thoughtful words, what matters most is your sincerity.
Speak with love. Speak with purpose. And don’t forget to smile, raise your glass, and cheers to the newlyweds.
