Updated – 5/31/2024
You’re Engaged – Now What? You have told all of your VIPs of your upcoming nuptials, and now it’s time to start the planning process! One of the first things to do on the wedding planning checklist is compiling the wedding guest list! Deciding who’s invited to your wedding can be difficult. Although it would be great if you could invite everyone you want, it’s probably not possible. So, how do you create your perfect wedding guest list? The best way to create and effectively edit your guest list is to be mindful of not only your own wishes but also those of your partner and your families.
HOW TO CREATE YOUR WEDDING GUEST LIST
DISCUSS YOUR VENUE, BUDGET & VISION
The first step should be to have a conversation with your fiancé about what is important to both of you for your big day. When creating your wedding guest list, it’s important to consider the capacity of the wedding venue, your budget, and the overall wedding style, which includes the ambiance and party vibe you hope to create. These factors will all play a major role in putting together your guest list. Here are some questions to help you get started!
VENUE CAPACITY
The size of your venue can determine how many guests you can invite to your wedding. We recommend creating a tentative guest list before visiting potential wedding venues. This will help you narrow down venue options so that you’re only considering spaces that can accommodate your party size. Alternatively, you can book your dream venue first and then adjust your guest list size to fit the venue’s capacity. If you choose to pick the venue first, make sure that all involved parties (fiancé & parents) understand that there may need to be significant cuts in the guest list.
What to ask potential venues:
- What is the maximum and minimum capacity of your ceremony and reception spaces?
- If you’re dreaming of an outdoor ceremony, do you have a rain plan?
- Can I hire my own vendors, or do you have a preferred list?
BUDGET
The size of your guest list significantly influences your wedding budget; more guests mean higher expenses. For those with budget constraints, minimizing the guest list can lead to savings across all aspects of the wedding, including venue, catering, beverages, flowers, and stationery. If you’re interested in managing your budget effectively, consider downloading our complimentary Wedding Budget Spreadsheet, which covers most wedding essentials. Save it to your Google Drive and share it with anyone involved in budget contributions.
Things to discuss with your fiancé:
- How many guests will our wedding budget allow us to invite?
- How do we divide the guest list between us and our parents?
- Will we be limiting how many guests our parents can invite? If either of your parents are financially contributing to your wedding, that could impact the number of guests they might like to invite.
WEDDING STYLE
It’s likely that you’ve already created a Pinterest board outlining your vision for your wedding day. Are you picturing a big celebration with all your friends and family, or do you prefer a smaller, more intimate gathering? It’s important to make sure that you and your partner are aligned on this before you start discussing the guest list. Here are some things to talk about with your fiancé:
- How do we want the wedding to feel? Small and intimate, or large and festive?
- What does that mean for our guest list?
Once you’ve had these discussions and come up with a plan, it’s time to start putting together your wedding guest list.
GOOGLE SPREADSHEETS ARE YOUR FRIEND!
Use a Shared Google Spreadsheet! We have saved you some time by creating this Guest List Spreadsheet, which you can download and use as is or customize.
Google Drive is Awesome, and we highly recommend you add your guest list spreadsheet to it and share it with your fiancé and anyone else helping with the guest list! Google Drive Spreadsheets are great because they are shareable, can be edited simultaneously, and updates can be viewed in real-time and accessed from any device.
SET A GOAL FOR THE SIZE OF YOUR GUEST LIST.
This can be based on the capacity and space limitations of the venue(s) you want to book, your wedding budget, and the overall wedding vibe you hope to create.
Now comes the fun part. Have everyone (you, your partner, your parents) involved in the inviting and compile a list of the people they’d like to attend.
Not sure who to include? Here’s a guide to help you and your families decide who should make the list.
WHO SHOULD BE INVITED?
IMMEDIATE FAMILY
Start with your parents, grandparents, siblings, their partners, and children. Then, list any other immediate family (aunts, uncles, and cousins) you see regularly. It’s important to list everyone as the final number of attendees will be needed for invitations, catering, rentals, etc.
EXTENDED FAMILY
If you’re close to any of your extended family members and would like them at your wedding, be sure to add them to the list.
FRIENDS
Add your closest friends first, followed by any you see or speak to regularly or who are significant in your life.
CO-WORKERS
A good rule of thumb is to invite only co-workers with whom you spend time outside of the office or feel incredibly close. Do not feel obligated to invite everyone from the office.
PLUS-ONES
Adding a plus-one to your single friends’ invitations can increase your overall wedding guest list numbers, which also affects your budget. Here’s our best advice for navigating plus-ones:
Married, engaged, and cohabitating guests should get a plus-one.
Give your wedding party members a plus-one.
Also, guests who’ve been with their significant other for so long that it’d be awkward not to invite them.
Make a blanket rule for everyone else, such as “only immediate or close family can bring a date,” and stick to it.
CHILDREN
Inviting children will increase your guest numbers and affect your budget. Choosing whether or not to invite kids to your wedding can be a stressful decision, but remember, it’s your day and your choice. Discuss with your partner and your families whether or not you’ll be inviting children to the wedding so that you are all on the same page.
FAMILY FRIENDS
The same rule applies to family friends. Add them to the list if you see or speak to them regularly or if they are significant in your life. Your parents may have friends that they feel need to be at your celebration, especially if they’re contributing to some if not all of the cost of the wedding. An excellent solution to this is to give both families the same number of extra guests, Which allows your parents to use these seats however they’d like.
COMPARE THE LISTS AND CROSS OFF ANY DUPLICATIONS.
COMPARE YOUR NUMBERS
Add up the names left and compare that number with your goal. Determine how many names you need to eliminate if your count is over the limit. Then, have each person cut an assigned number of names from their list.
TIPS ON HOW TO TRIM YOUR GUEST LIST
Trimming your guest list is a common wedding-planning headache. To minimize the stress, we’ve listed some guides to help you condense your headcount.
DETERMINE YOUR A-LIST
Now that your master guest list is complete, sit down together and categorize your guests into your A-List and B-List.
The A-List is for your must-have invitees who you cannot imagine not having at your wedding, like your family and close friends. These people are your non-negotiables and will receive invitations.
The B-List is made up of guests you still really want to be there, so be thoughtful when deciding who you choose to be on it. If you have enough “regrets” once your RSVPs start coming in, you may decide to send out a batch of invites to your B-List at a slightly later date.
MAKE IT ADULTS ONLY
One way to reduce your guest list is by having an adult-only wedding. You may need to inform the parents in your group gently, but they will probably be happy to have a night without their kids. If you have out-of-town guests who need to bring their children, you might want to consider arranging childcare for them.
CUT WHOLE GROUPS
Eliminating “whole groups” is another way to cut down on guests. Sort your list by how you know them and eliminate a whole group instead of individual people. This might be easier or at least seem “fairer” (one person from your baseball team won’t feel snubbed that another teammate got invited because they didn’t).
TRY THE “ONE YEAR” TEST
The one-year test is exactly what it sounds like. If you haven’t seen them in the past year or if it weren’t for the wedding, you wouldn’t expect to see them in the next year, then take them off the list.
YOU DON’T ALWAYS HAVE TO RECIPROCATE
Don’t feel obligated to invite someone to your wedding just because they invited you to theirs. Instead, consider your relationship. If you attended their wedding and your relationship is still strong, include them. Don’t feel obligated to invite them if you’ve fallen out of touch with them. Instead, save the spot for someone you’re close with.
AVOID LAST-MINUTE ADDITIONS
During your engagement, you will likely hear something like, “I can’t wait to come to your wedding!” from someone not on your invite list. Rather than blurting out, “Me too!” and hastily mailing an invitation, stick to your guns. Instead, blame it on venue space limitations (“I’m so sorry, I wish we could invite everyone, but unfortunately, our venue is tight on space.”). It’s better to let them know now rather than disinviting them later.
IMPORTANT RULE
Remember, various parties and celebrations occur between the engagement and “I do,” which are all important parts of the wedding experience. When sending invites, remember this one vital rule. Anyone invited to any wedding party (except office showers) must also be invited to the wedding. Asking someone to any of the lead-up celebrations but not the wedding itself is rude, not to mention misleading.
CREATE MASTER LIST
Now that you have your guest list created copy the names and paste them into the tab named Master List. This is where you will manage your guest list by recording important info like names and addresses, invitations sent, track of RSVPs and gifts received, etc.
Remember, the guest list is a crucial aspect of wedding planning, but it’s also an opportunity to surround yourselves with loved ones on your special day. By following these steps and tips, you can create a guest list that reflects your priorities and sets the tone for an unforgettable celebration. Happy planning!
Featured Photo Seating Chart by St. Croix Designs