Congratulations! Your child is engaged! Your child’s wedding is an exciting and memorable time, and as the mother of the bride or groom, your choice of attire carries significant weight. While the bride will naturally be the center of attention, your appearance matters too. Traditional expectations of matronly outfits have been replaced by a more modern approach, allowing for stylish and age-appropriate selections. Whether you opt for a formal gown, a short or long dress, or a chic skirt-and-jacket combination, the key is to find something that suits the wedding’s style. Collaboration between mothers can be helpful, but remember, individuality is key. While the search for the perfect dress may be challenging, it’s essential to find one that flatters you and complements the wedding’s color scheme and formality. To help you find the perfect dress, we’ve compiled a set of questions to ask the happy couple about their fashion expectations. We’ve also included some useful shopping tips and etiquette guidelines from the Emily Post Institute to ensure a smooth and fun process.
From Emily Post
- Brides can be very helpful by encouraging “the moms” to work together in choosing their outfits. Some guidelines to keep in mind:
- Traditionally, the bride’s mother has the honor of selecting her outfit first.
- Try not to choose colors that are the same or very similar to the bride’s and bridesmaids’ dresses—you won’t stand out.
- Wear different colors from each other. Variations on the wedding color scheme are fine as long as each mother’s dress is distinct.
- The length of the gown or dress is a personal choice, even for formal weddings. Long dresses and skirts are acceptable for any wedding from noon on.
- The mothers do not have to wear dresses of equal length, although many do, feeling that it creates a more harmonious look, especially in wedding photos.
- As for who calls whom to discuss ‘our outfits,’ the mother of the groom shouldn’t stand on ceremony; if she hasn’t heard anything once the initial wedding plans are underway, she’s perfectly welcome to call the mother of the bride.
Questions to Ask About the Couple’s Fashion Expectations
- Is the wedding going to be formal, semi-formal, or casual?
- What are the wedding colors?
- What are the bridesmaid’s and groomsmen’s colors?
- Are there any specific colors or styles you envision for us?
- Would you like us to coordinate with the wedding theme or color scheme or be neutral?
- Are there any specific dress codes, themes, or cultural/religious traditions we should consider when selecting our attire for the wedding?
- What type of venue have you chosen for the wedding?
- Are there any outdoor considerations, accessory requests, or specific guidelines for accessories and footwear that we should consider when selecting our outfits?
- Do you have any photos or examples of styles you particularly like?
- Is there anything else you’d like us to know or consider when selecting our attire for your wedding?
Shopping Tips
Coordinate with Each Other
Communication between the Mother of the Bride (MOB) and Mother of the Groom (MOG) is crucial. Coordinate colors, styles, and overall looks to ensure harmony between both mothers and the wedding party. Respect the bride’s vision for the attire while also expressing your individual styles.
Consider the Wedding Style and Venue
When selecting your dress, consider both the theme and venue of the wedding. Whether it’s a formal indoor affair or a casual outdoor celebration, choose attire that complements the setting while reflecting your personal style. This ensures your dress suits the occasion and harmonizes with the overall wedding aesthetic.
Start Early
Begin your search well in advance of the wedding date. This gives you plenty of time to explore different options, try on dresses, and make alterations if needed.
Respect the Couple’s Wishes
Ensure your dress aligns with the couple’s vision for the wedding, prioritizing their preferences while also considering your comfort and confidence. Consult with them about the desired color scheme and style for both mothers’ attire, ensuring harmony with the overall wedding aesthetic.
Set a Budget
Establish a budget for your dress and stick to it. Don’t forget additional costs such as alterations, accessories, and shoes. Establishing a budget assists in streamlining your options, enabling you to discover a dress that aligns with both your style preferences and your financial constraints.
Bring a Fabric Swatch
When shopping, consider bringing a swatch of the wedding colors and bridesmaids’ gown fabric with you, or at least have a detailed description of the gown’s color handy.
Choose Flattering Silhouettes
Choose dresses that enhance your figure and boost your confidence. Consider your body shape and select silhouettes that highlight your best attributes while ensuring comfort all day long. For instance, empire-waist dresses suit apple-shaped bodies, while A-line dresses complement various body types.
Choose Your Current Size
Prioritize buying a dress that fits your current weight. Don’t stress about shedding pounds before the wedding; instead, prioritize feeling comfortable and self-assured. Adjustments can always be made if necessary.
Don’t Forget About Undergarments
The proper undergarments can make a world of difference in how a dress fits and looks. Invest in supportive undergarments that enhance your silhouette and provide comfort throughout the day.
Accessorize Thoughtfully
Enhance your looks with accessories that complement your dresses without overshadowing them. Keep jewelry, clutches, and shoes elegant and understated to complete your ensembles seamlessly.
Prioritize Comfort and Seasonal Appropriateness
Prioritize comfort by selecting breathable fabrics and comfortable shoes suitable for extended wear, especially for dancing. Consider the season when choosing fabrics and colors—opt for lighter fabrics like chiffon for summer weddings and richer fabrics like velvet for winter ceremonies. This ensures ease of movement and seasonal appropriateness, particularly for outdoor ceremonies or lengthy receptions.
Trust Your Instincts
Wear a dress that makes you feel confident and beautiful. Trust your intuition and keep searching until you find the ideal Mother of the Bride (MOB) and Mother of the Groom (MOG) dress that embodies your style and guarantees you stand out on your child’s special day.
The Mother of the Bride (MOB) and Mother of the Groom (MOG) should choose attire that reflects their individual style and blends seamlessly with the wedding theme. It’s important to prioritize comfort throughout the celebration. Whether they prefer classic elegance, contemporary flair, or a combination of both, their outfits should exude confidence and joy, symbolizing their significant roles in witnessing and celebrating the union of their loved ones. Whether your child is the bride or groom, this is a moment to cherish. Congratulations, and make sure to savor each precious moment!